December 7 and 8, 2006

James only warms up against the best, and in front of large audiences, so it was no surprise to see him taking on Norfolk's finest, Master Colby, when I first arrived on Thursday at the Constant Center in Norfolk, Virginia on the campus of Old Dominion University. James absolutely whipped the kid 0 and 0, but Colby still found it in his heart to shake JB's hand after the encounter. (just joking; this post and pretty much all the others that follow are just examples of the form of pseudo-intellectual, ultra-condescending writing that I now hate myself for but can't resist using for which I was trained so well at my all-boys prep-school growing up).

Next up came the bald headed and shaved legged one, a.k.a Double A, the Punisher, the A Train, the Living Legend, you name it, Mr. Andre Agassi. As you can tell from this picture his form has completely gone to hell since he last took the court at the Open this past summer. Truth be told I was standing in ballboy position at the netpost and I have NEVER seen a tennis ball travel faster over a tennis net with a couple guys trading groundstrokes. Won't forget that anytime soon. Click on the picture to see Andre striking the ball.

James wasn't exactly chopped liver out there either. He had the forehand cracking and was handling those crosscourt backhands from Andre quite nicely. James was constantly marveling at Andre's timing on the short hops. Click on the image to see some video.

The two came in to exchange pleasantries and discuss the finer things in life, such as backhand slices, attacking second serves and how far superior the Gilette Mach 3 razor is to the Schick UltraBlade.

After warmups, everyone retired to the ultra-exclusive players lounge, equipped with a stocked fridge, cable TV and fresh linens. That's Andre regaling Sarge Sargisian, the Bryan brothers, James, and James' mom with tales from domestic life. "I grabbed Jaden in my left hand, Jaz in the right hand, shook them and said 'Hit it to the backhand!'" Actually, Andre held command over the room mixing wisdom, humor and candor for a few hours. I was glad to be a part of the conversation. Among the topics: the rescue of the Kim family in Oregon, Andre's school in Vegas, shooting three pointers, Wayne Bryan, parenting, bets involving playing tennis with frying pans, the odds on beating poker pros, James' Ancient Chinese History course at Harvard, the Bryans' most recent party, and Las Vegas property taxes (a topic for which Andre called his assistant Marcia to find out what they were for me).

The bottles of wine you saw on the table were a special gift to the players from the Anthem execs. Sorry for the blurry image folks.

Showtime is around the corner and through the curtain. First up was a blood match between the Bryans and the Blakes. James' mom informed me that the foursome have been playing since juniors, and the Blakes have always won. Check that- the Blakes have never won. Well, nothing changed this go-around either.

Rare shot of the brothers on court playing some dubs. As you can tell James set me up with a horrible seat. I can't believe I wasn't actually on the court! Cheapo.

I don't have an image from the events that unfolded after the singles match (James won in a third set tiebreak over AA), but the above says it all. We hooked up with former ATP Pro and Geoff Grant, who escorted us via limo to a watering hole in Hampton, VA. There we discussed Larry Bird turning 50, the late Arthur Ashe (whom a 19 year old coed at ODU said she had worked with recently- oy vey), the new round robin format at ATP events, the upcoming autobiography about JB, James' propensity for sleeping on the floor face down on his stomach (which got a few curious stares), where Federer ranks among the alltimers, an incident involving James throwing eggs at cars as a 14 year old, and the moral turpitude of the counter demonstrators at Augusto Pinochet's funeral. Exit time was 4am. Ouch.

Friday, December 8, 2006

Up next: an 11am return date with some real stars, the students at the "Achievable Dream' academy in Newport News, VA. James held a clinic there (as he did last year) where he answered questions from the students and teachers and then hit for about 20 minutes with some of the kids. The star among them was Tariq (I'm pretty sure that's him with eyes closed in the front). The kid has some game, as he later proved to Andre Agassi that night when James gave him his racquet mid-match and had him serve to Andre. Tariq promptly bombed a groundie and then followed it up by hitting a winning drop shot, for which he received the loudest ovation of the night from the fans.

As if it weren't bad enough that he's one of the alltime best players, has earned a bajillion dollars, and is a proud papa, in case you didn't know, Andre is married to someone better- Steffi Graf. He pretty much stood back and let her do her thing during the mixed doubles match which began the Genworth Classic on Friday night in Richmond, Virginia. They faced off against Lindsay Davenport and James. I missed most of the action because my son Cade was repeatedly issuing karate kicks to the back of the head of the man seated in front of us. I had to take him to the players lounge where we watched the Iverson-less Sixers play the Pistons.

The hellion managed to stay still long enough so that I could get a picture with Andre and James between matches. Andre taught Cade how to 'Gimme some skin' and then Cade promptly beat him in thumb wrestling. Yes, Griffin def. Agassi is not a lie. Man, how bad is my second chin these days? Actually I was just really happy and showing it. That's a wrap folks!